a house of cards built in a stormy city
by IssyRomana97
Summary: "He supposed the war had blinded her somehow, and she had to look harder to see the stunning things in the world. Maybe that was why she thought so little of herself; because she couldn't see how truly beautiful she was." Tom/Nikki.
1. Chapter 1

Nikki had taught her fair share of badly behaved kids, but Kyle Stack had to be one of the worst. From the end of the corridor, she saw Michael struggling to restrain him, and hurried down to help. Even though he had a history of being a bit of an idiot, Nikki thought Michael had done a good job trying to get him to see the light. Obviously, this was wasted on such scum as Kyle Stack. He had been excluded last week, so what the hell was he doing back here?

As she approached, Nikki kept her distance from the kid. Last time they had come face to face with one another, he had punched her in the jaw, and given her a very lovely bruise. Now as she was talking to Tom about what exactly was going on, Kyle licked his lips and looked deviously at Nikki. She felt her blood run cold.

'Hiya gorgeous,' he snarled loudly, before Michael wrenched him away, and almost threw him out of the school. Tom looked at her worriedly, and gripped her arm as she went rigid when Kyle Stack was dragged away, grinning madly at her with a scary, perverted look in his eyes. Michael's apologies afterwards were wasted however, and Tom's gentle grip on her began to fade, as memories from a place she tried to lock out _constantly_ revived inside her head…

_The sun was beating down as if it were directly concentrated upon her, and the bright light it spread over her current position was so harsh it felt like it was intentionally trying to blind her. She didn't believe in God, but she knew how he supposedly hated "war", and maybe this was his way of acting as a deterrent. Or maybe it was just that she was in the middle of the Middle-East. On second thoughts, then yeah, it was most likely that. The body protection she wore was a steadfast way of defending herself against any bullets, but it weighed almost as much as she did in her entirety, and was making her feel hotter and clammier than on most days. _

_Sergeant Nikki Boston eyed the rest of her team in dismay as they patiently waited behind the tonne blocks of sandbags near the city. The place had been deserted five years ago after it was threatened by a nuclear strike. The strike never happened however, and within a month, the place was swarming with rebels and, as the Brits would call them, terrorists. There had been hundreds of them at first, but over the years, and during many attacks by the army, they had been reduced to no more than twenty, many of which only returned once a month. _

_Back to her team, Nikki realized that every one of them was under the age of twenty five, practically newbies, apart from Charlie Henning, a twenty eight year old with two kids and a fiancé back home. Nikki really didn't know exactly what Charlie was doing here – she should be at home with her kids, not on some random suicide mission in Afghanistan where she could, at any given moment, leave her children motherless. The only reason Nikki joined the army was because she had no one, and she firmly believed that isolationism was the only way to operate perfectly._

_Nikki knew that by the end of the day, she would be returning back to the barracks with less people than which she started out with. This was the most dangerous assignment she had been issued in her four years in the military service – take out the remaining rebels in the city. From reports, at this time of the day and month there was only around seven men in the city (they called it a city; it was more of a village with large buildings). But it was her job to take them all out. However, she had only been issued five soldiers, and so they were already one man down. She hoped the extra bullet she kept her pocket might just be enough to keep some of them alive._

_At first, shooting someone had taken practice, skill and complete mental preparation. Now it was second nature, and although sometimes that thought disgusted her, she knew she was in the right frame of mind. She loved being in the army, safeguarding her country and her fellow soldiers from attack, and proving that women were equally as great as men were in this place. She was never going to leave this job – she would rather take a bullet through the head from the enemy at point blank range and get shipped home in a coffin. She would certainly rather die than go back to how her life used to be._

_Scummy men had been something she had very brilliantly been able to evade for the first twenty five years of her life, but then she had fallen. And not just for anyone, but the scummiest man on earth. At first, he had been utterly charming. They had worked together at a printing firm; he had asked her out so many times after her half-hearted refusals, and then took her to the most extraordinary places. She gushed (it sickened her now to think of how she used to be) about him to her family and friends, let him in completely, and after eight months, agreed to marry him._

_And that's when his true colours began to shine, as it were._

_At first, married life was so not so different, save the beautiful platinum band wrapped around her ring finger. But as weeks turned into months, the man she knew as Robert Downing turned into the man she could not fathom out. She should've have guessed sooner really – he began to start working really late shifts at work, went out at night when he thought she was sleeping, swore at her and even on the one occasion, hit her. She had hit him back, but it never took the real sting away. The whole affair hit rock bottom when she lost the baby._

_She had been four months along, going happily along with her pregnancy, waiting until she really started showing to tell everyone. But she was so happy – to have a family was all she ever wanted after living with her mother and sister after daddy walked out when she was three. The night she was planning on telling Robert, he decided to reveal that he had been screwing her sister for the best part of two years. She was so distraught, so depressed, and so angry that she wasn't careful enough, and slipped down the stairs in the middle of the night. She blamed herself so many times for what had happened. She never really stopped. Her little boy had been killed, and it was her fault. _

_Maybe that was why she found shooting people so easy – she had killed someone before, why was it any different now?_

_After losing her baby, Nikki did what any deceived and depressed woman of her tender age of twenty seven would do. She went to her bathroom, pulling out the sharpest pair of scissors she owned, and sliced off all of her sheer ebony hair. She signed up for the military the next day, determined to start anew, and put her life back on track again. She changed during training though. She used to be sweet, sort of innocence, but she managed to build up high walls that even her own emotions couldn't escape from._

_She would come back into the barracks at one in the morning, her brow coated in sweat, her fingers bleeding from the intensity of her work ethic, only to be roused five hours later. She worked herself to the brink of death, but never complained, and just worked harder. She built up her physicality over a period of about three months; she had always been tall, but now she was muscly as well, and could run for a straight ten miles without stopping. She could carry weights some of the men she trained with struggled with, and she was so concentrated that when her divorce papers came through, she signed without so much of a tear. The only time that her barrier failed her was the first anniversary of when she lost her son. She cried at two in the morning for ten minutes. _

_She sold her wedding band and bought herself some extra special, reinforced combat boots. Then she just continued to work – taking exams and physicals, and took whatever crap she needed to take from other people, and slowly travelled up the chain until she became a Major. When they requested nearly three hundred men and women to go to Afghanistan, she took it as a way out of Britain. When she arrived, she was demoted slightly to a Sergeant for a special team, but was still regarded as one of the most accomplished women in the British military service._

_So here she was now. But, for one of the first times, Nikki Boston had not been paying attention, and one of her younger soldiers had spotted the remaining rebels in the city, and let off a shot which missed the opposition by a mile. Nikki gave him a cutthroat glare and hissed, 'Congratulations Jenkins, you just successfully gave away our location.' _

_The officer named Jenkins blushed ferociously, lowered his head in shame, and declared, 'Sorry ma'am. Saw a rogue ma'am. Thought it would be best to shoot ma'am.' Nikki let the corners of her thin lips curl into a quick grin which only Charlie saw._

'_Come on then you lot, let's go. We can't just hang around like sitting ducks all day,' Nikki declared authoritatively, and very carefully, her little regiment got to their feet and began to slip out across the high ground before they entered the city itself. With eyes like an eagle, and a voice sharper than nails screeching across a chalkboard, Nikki directed her team across the plains of dust. They were almost completely silent, like deadly assassins, and the only sound that could be heard (and this was at short range anyway) was the heavy breathing of the youngest soldier here, Officer Connors. At just nineteen years old, Nikki was determined to get him home at all costs._

_Charlie, her second in command on this mission, had gone racing ahead to check if the coast was clear. Two years ago, Nikki tried and then gave up trying to order her around and keep her in line. She back chatted some of the highest ranking Officers in the military, and was a bit of a nuisance. The only reason she was really still here was because she was the best shot Britain had seen for around twenty years. Suddenly, Charlie's heavy footsteps halted, and her worried voice called out, 'Hey Nicks, I think you're going to need that extra bullet.'_

_Quietly and professionally, Nikki brought the rest of her team forwards to where Charlie was standing, her gun standing out against the plains, in front of her chest in a loaded position. Nikki ordered everyone to do the same. The rebels seemed to have scarpered at Charlie's beckon, probably realizing they were in trouble. But as Nikki got the update from Charlie, she knew that she was in trouble as well. There were approximately twelve of them, meaning they were half the number of the opposition._

_With a deep breath in, Nikki took the first step into the abandoned city and began stalking around, gun in outstretched hands, her steps careful and precise, making sure she was not clumsily stumbling around. The tension mounting through the atmosphere was horrific, and with every turn, Nikki's stomach sank. The city may be tiny, but looking for twelve people was like looking for a green bean in a haystack (slightly bigger than the chances of finding a pin in there anyway). Behind her, she was glad to hear her team were branching out as well, with Charlie covering her back. _

_The time seemed to drag, but as the sun began to intensify, and Nikki's hands relaxed on her gun, she knew that their search today was going to be completely fruitless. Charlie was sending through a steady stream of information about their surroundings as they delved even deeper in the ghost town. The place was eerie, and almost frightening. But that was one word Nikki never used. She wasn't afraid of anything anymore._

_After about an hour, Nikki finally dropped her gun to her side and turned around to face Charlie, stating they should get back to the barracks. With her team only a few metres away, round a few blocks and corners, Nikki was relieved to see everyone was still intact. Before she could issue her orders however, twelve men, faces masked, stepped into the square. Guns raised, each side waited for the other to go first. _

_Evidently, they didn't want to wait._

_The moment the bullet was released, the noise made her ears ring. Before she could stop it, the bullet of steel delved deep into Charlie's chest, speeding right through her body armour, breaking through as if it were just cotton wool. The rest of the team turned on the twelve men, Jenkins taking down two instantly, and Connors another one. The bullets springing through the air broke the tension, and the yells of both English and Pashto screeched through the entire place. The gunfire was unnecessarily loud, and after shooting at the man who had done so to Charlie, Nikki took her place as Sergeant and dropped down next to Charlie. _

_You know when you've been reading inside a car, and after a few minutes you begin to feel sick so you try and open the window? Just to get some fresh air to settle your stomach? But then it's raining, and it comes pouring into the car so your parents yell to close it or the seats will get wet, and all you can settle for is looking outside. And then, when you try, the rain is falling so thick and fast down the glass panes that you can't even see outside; your vision is all blurred and you just feel so dizzy. _

_Well, that's exactly how she feels right now anyway._

_The woman was trying to clot the bleeding, but it was clear the moment Nikki saw the wound that there was nothing anyone could do. Whilst the battle fire continued, Nikki heaved Charlie's body into her lap, and grabbed her hand. Charlie was probably her best friend – really her only friend – since she joined the army. As she coughed violently, the dust from the ground seeping into her nose, blood began to stream viciously from her stomach womb. She found Nikki's eyes, and managed a small grimace of pain._

'_Whatever you do, don't leave me here,' Charlie whispered desperately, gripping Nikki's hand with all the strength she had left, 'I don't want to be sent home as a mangled piece of flesh. My kids can't see that.' Tears which Nikki tried to barricade poured slowly down her cheeks, dripping onto Charlie's, and the blonde smirked a little. _

'_Nikki Boston, crying over me dying, never thought I'd see the day.' It would have been funny, had her voice not hitched at the end, with a cry of pain echoing from her cracked lips._

_Nikki shook her head, her ears blocking out any sound from outside of their little bubble. 'Don't say that Charlie,' she whispered anxiously, trying to work up a smile, 'You've got to get home. Come on; Adam needs you, Tilly and Sofia need their mother.' Nikki gripped her hand, sniffing back tears as they fell continuously down her face. She brushed some of Charlie's hair from her face, but Charlie didn't reply, just kept on breathing shallow breaths. She had only seconds left._

'_Nicks, promise me this,' Charlie breathed out, so quietly Nikki almost didn't catch it. Nikki nodded furiously, trying to prevent herself from sobbing out loud. People had died in her care before, but not Charlie. She couldn't lose Charlie. 'Find yourself a decent bloke when you get out of here.' Nikki gave a small smile and laughed softly. 'I promise.'_

_Charlie smiled up at her, her blue eyes sparkling in the sunlight. Then the grip of Nikki's hand died, the spark faded, and her eyes glossed over, having looking up at the sky for the last time. 'I promised I would you get you home safely,' Nikki whispered, carefully depositing the girl's body on the floor, her combat clothes stained with blood, sweat and tears, 'And now you're going home. You're safe now.' She pressed a light kiss to Charlie's forehead, and stood to her feet, completely forgetting the whole battle thing going on._

_Eleven were dead, on the rebels' side, but one had completely disappeared. Nikki looked around at the massacre, and then at Charlie's small body. The whole ground seemed to be bleeding, red seeping through the dust. The stench of death overpowered her and before one of her little troop could comfort her, she said clearly, restraining tears from her voice, 'Take her body back to the barracks.'_

_Every man nodded, and moved to collect their fallen comrade's body. Connors however looked pointedly behind Nikki, and was about to yell a warning before a bullet went straight through his head, and someone grabbed Nikki roughly from behind, yanking her into a death grip. Nikki watched in despair as Connors fell to the ground, eyes glassy like Charlie, but before she could cry out, a strong arm wrapped around her neck and pressed the butt of a gun to her chin. She had been broken again, and hadn't been careful. But this time her baby boy wouldn't pay the price – she would._

'_Senga yai kgula,' the man hissed menacingly, tightening his grip on Nikki's throat to the point where one more point of pressure would snap her neck. The words sent shivers down her spine – _hello gorgeous_. She had no way of escape. She looked down at the ground, her feet now hanging limply in a pool of blood around her feet. It was Charlie's. And somehow, this gave her the anger and strength to keep herself alive. Because the mother had died as a result of her negligence, as had a nineteen year old boy. She had to get back to honour them. They couldn't just die for nothing._

_Slowly lifting her foot up, Nikki kicked back into the shins of the main holding onto her. He grunted in pain, not having anticipated this, and before he could grab her again, Nikki kicked hard in his other shin, sending him a few centimetres back. She prised his fingers off her neck (the sound of crunching bones as she broke them off her neck) and kicked him defiantly in the stomach, sending him crashing to the ground. He didn't have time to beg for mercy before Nikki grabbed her bullet from her pocket, loaded her gun, and shot him directly in the face._

_When she got back to the barracks, Sergeant Nikki Boston resigned, went back to England, to the life she hated so much, and trained to be an English teacher. She couldn't live like that anymore. Screw doing it forever. She would never, ever handle a gun again. Charlie and Connors were sufficiently commemorated, but she had failed them, just like she had failed herself. _

Two words had sparked the memories which almost killed her. "Hello gorgeous" – it was like her trigger. Any man she had seen since coming back to England who had labelled her as or called her that had been dumped straight away. Her entire military years had been some of the best of her life, but the end of her army career had almost destroyed her. As Nikki reached the end of her reminiscent time, her knees began to give way as the stench of dead corpses and freshly split blood overpowered her, consuming her, dragging her down into the pits of hell. The man's face when she shot him and tore his skin and bones apart. She could vaguely hear Tom calling her name, and holding onto her, but soon enough, unconsciousness saved her from having to relive the moment her best friend died in her arms.


	2. Chapter 2

When Nikki had collapsed on him, Tom was sure his heart faltered for a moment before jumping backing into life, and catching her before she hit the floor. He had no idea why she fainted – he had never expected tough nut Nikki Boston to ever do something as wishy washy as collapse – but he was sure that she was mainly alright, and would recover well after a few minutes. What really bugged him was why she had fallen down. It couldn't have been Kyle Stack, Nikki had dealt with rougher people than him, so why now? Nevertheless, he pulled her limp form into his arms and turned to Michael.

'What do you want me to do? Do you want me to take her to hospital or something?' Tom asked concernedly, looking down at Nikki's face, which was losing its pallor, and becoming increasingly lifeless. Without really thinking, he brushed his hand across her cheek, as gently as he could manage, and then turned back to Michael, who was staring at Nikki as well, but with a more puzzled expression on his features.

'I think she would kill us if we took her to a hospital. Can you take her to the staffroom and just stay with her a while?' the headmaster asked, his Scottish accent lilting, knowing how much inconvenience it would cause Tom if he lost a free period where he could be marking. His staff was very important to him, but today was completely hectic, and Michael simply didn't have the time or the man-power to focus all his attention on Miss Boston.

'Oh, and could you apologize to Nikki, on my behalf, for the behaviour of Kyle Stack?' Michael requested, and Tom began to trek towards the staff room, just up the stairs from where they were. Tom nodded, making sure he got the message, and Michael gave him a quick thumbs up before sprinting off to the biology department to talk to Sian about the state of their barriers as a school. He couldn't have Kyle Stack, or more members of the DSC in Waterloo Road again; mass hysteria and collapsing teachers was not what he needed on his palette right now.

Luckily for Nikki's pride, classes were just beginning, and so Tom could quickly carry her up to the staffroom without any interruptions from students. The staffroom has always been a place of solace for lost teachers. There's the never changing location of the kettle, teabags and biscuits, and very prominently at the front of the cabinet are aspirin tablets – either to soothe a hangover, or a banging headache from having to teach the kids all day long. God knows teaching at Waterloo Road is a nightmare, but the highs outstretch the lows, and they're good kids really who just need a bit of guidance in their lives.

Tom gently laid Nikki on one of the sofas, and wandered to the kettle, thinking that a brew might just calm both of them down a little. He didn't reckon he would ever have just a quiet day teaching here. But that's what made it all the more interesting really.

He looked back over at Nikki as the kettle began to boil. Normally when people are unconscious or sleeping, then they look peaceful, but she just looked concerned. Her face was crumpled into an expression of what looked almost like sadness. He knew she had been in the army, but he never really asked her anything about her past. Somehow she alluded to the fact that she didn't really want to talk about it. She wasn't mysterious as such, just unknown, and unwilling to trust. He couldn't blame her there – he had trusted so many people who had let him down.

As Tom was pouring the scalding water into the two mugs, Nikki began to frown, and her eyelids peeled open slowly, allowing time for the grogginess to settle in. slowly, Nikki came to her senses, and realized that she was in the staffroom. _How had she gotten here? What happened?_ A stream of questions flooded through her head, but no answers were revealed. She tried to sit up, but before she could sit down properly, someone softly pushed her back down so she was lying again.

'Now you stay put for a moment, you don't want to do any more damage to that head of yours,' a voice said clearly, and although she didn't recognize it at the moment, Nikki knew that she should probably do what the voice said. Settling back down into the pillows, but feeling a little humiliated, Nikki looked up towards the counter, where someone was making tea. She couldn't tell who it was from this angle, but when he turned around and smiled, she matched the voice with the person.

Tom was really someone she could call a friend since she came here. He looked out for her, and she looked out for him. Both being in the English department, they had a sort of bond alongside the rest of the staff, but it went beyond the classroom as well. With all the problems Josh had been dealing with, she had tried to be there for Tom when it got too much. Because it was bad for Josh actually having schizophrenia, but she could only imagine what it was like to watch your only child go through that.

Placing his tea on a tablemat, Tom lifted Nikki's spidery long legs up from the sofa, sat where they had been resting and then allowed them to drop back on top of his lap. He let Nikki shift a little so she was facing him, and then handed her a cup of tea, which she accepted rather gracefully.

'What happened?' Nikki asked bemusedly, taking a large, rather un-ladylike glug of tea, which scalded her throat a little. Tom gazed back at her, holding eye contact for a second too long before chuckling, picking up his own mug and replying, 'That's exactly what I was going to ask you.' Nikki smiled a little, but still felt rough, and a little stupid. Well, a lot stupid, and very_, very_ embarrassed. She had worked so hard to keep up her reputation of being hard as nails, and a very authoritive figure in this school, and she had thrown it all away by remembering.

Tom could see the flush of anger in Nikki's face – directed towards herself, not him – and took one of her free hands, and very sincerely spoke, 'The reason why I'm here is that Michael asked me to sit with you until you were okay, and he wants to apologize for the way in which Kyle Stack treated you.' The message in itself was quite serious, but the way that Tom said it, in a mocking tone, dumbing it down, Nikki couldn't help herself. Laughing madly, she snorted into her tea by accident, and managed to spill it down the sofa. Placing the mug on the table, she turned back to Tom who was looking at her in surprise, and she asked, 'Can I get up now? I feel a bit ridiculous…'

'You should really go home and get some rest,' Tom suggested half-heartedly as Nikki pulled herself into a position where she could sit comfortably and casually on the sofa next to him. Little did he know she was concentrating all of her will-power on not letting her head droop into the crook of his neck, and hugging him senseless. She didn't quite know where that came from – she didn't really care. All Nikki knew was that she couldn't be alone dealing with these resurfacing images. She couldn't be left alone with Officer Connors and Charlie.

'I'm fine, I've been through a lot worse,' Nikki said loudly, clearing away some of the drowsiness that had infected her beforehand. She glanced around the empty staffroom, and then checked the time on her watch. 12:40. 'Damn it, I should be in a lesson,' she exclaimed, jumping to her feet and starting towards the door. As she should've seen coming, Tom quickly latched onto her elbow and retracted her back.

'You are not going anywhere until I'm sure you're okay,' Tom mumbled, absentmindedly tucking a stray piece of hair behind Nikki's ear. He did it subconsciously – he knew she liked things kind of straight and uniform, so why should her appearance be any different? Nikki didn't really mind; what she needed now was a big hug, although she would never ask for it. Tom made her feel safe though, so as long as she was with him, she thought she would probably be alright.

Instead of retorting, Nikki breathed out heavily, and then turned to Tom, who was looking at her with such desperate concern that she almost felt a little guilty. 'How's Josh doing?' she asked, completely altering the subject away from her and testing to see his reaction.

'He's not brilliant, but he could be a lot worse. He's back at school today, and he's got exams soon-' Tom's voice cracked a little here, '-but most of the time, he seemed to be doing alright. He's taking all his medication and stuff so hopefully he'll be good soon.'

Sensing his reluctance to talk about the subject, and mirroring it with her own reluctance to talk about her collapsing incident, Nikki just nodded. But instead of talking, she took his head within her own and squeezed it tightly, smiling at him, to show that she was here for him. He squeezed it back, and did not let go. They sat in a companionable silence for a little while, and Tom pondered on whether or not to let go of Nikki's hand. He decided on no. Because he felt safe here, with her. He felt like he had no responsibilities anywhere else. He loved Josh so much, but his schizophrenia was tearing a gap in their relationship, and he just needed someone to turn to when things got too difficult. That person was Nikki. She understood.

'I've been trying to block it out for years,' Nikki suddenly began to say, in a voice so quiet Tom had to prick his ears up to hear her trembling voice, 'But Kyle said something which reignited everything like a blowtorch.' Nikki looked over at Tom, and he was shocked to see a glimpse of tears in her eyes. 'I had to watch my best friend, really my only friend, die. It was my fault,' Nikki said, stumbling across her words, trying not to cry. 'I tried to forget, and it worked, but today, it just…hit me. And I feel so _guilty_.'

Tom was at a loss of what to say. _Well mate, actions speak louder than words_. Tom leant across the sofa, and tentatively pulled Nikki into a small hug. For a moment, she hesitated, but then succumbed and wrapped her arms around his back, holding onto him tightly. He still didn't know what to say, so he said nothing. Instead, he curled his arms around her waist and clutched onto her like if he let go, he would lose her forever.

They probably stayed entwined together for an inappropriate amount of time, but in the end, Tom drew away first, and suggested, 'Well, do you feel up to teaching the rabble?'

Nikki looked at him strangely for a brief moment, but then her face cracked into a large grin, as if she had forgotten her sadness again, and said, 'Always up for a challenge, me.'

**-WaterlooRoad-**

Today had been difficult, she wasn't going to lie. Getting kids to pay attention as you tried to teach them the prose of Charles Dickens was never going to be particularly easy (at any school, let alone Waterloo Road), but today had shown her how impossible it was to manage sometimes. Zack Diamond (or "Brown" as he had called himself) had started some sort of revolt, and instead of throwing back a threat of exercise, she was reduced to tears. Because again, it sort of reminded her how Charlie had never listened.

She had never thought about it like this before, but Waterloo Road was constantly reminding her of the war. But only here, she had a few allies against the enemy. She really could've used some help during that lesson, and when she went sprinting from the classroom, determined not to let any of her students see her break down, she wished that Tom would come and comfort her. Because he was the only one who really understood what loss and pain felt like.

Plus, she was pretty sure she kind of sort of almost liked him a little.

But she had watched through the window as Shona and Rhona Mansfield adopted her particular method of teaching, and reshaped the class back into order. She was so proud of them, but was kind of pleased with herself, that the way she disciplined had given her some valuable students who would look out for her. Because in normal schools, teachers ruled the roost, but here, students seemed to know how much of a rough time staff got, and sought to help them out. She thanked the twins, who boosted her spirits in return.

After lunch, she had a free period, and spent the hour marking test papers. By the time the final bell went, Nikki was only halfway through. She sighed out, and then picked up her pen and continued to mark. _There was no point delaying it_, she thought miserably, _there's no one at home waiting for you to get there anyway_. Maybe if she hadn't have been so ignorant, then there would be.

As the minutes ticked by, Nikki began to feel more alert than she had all day. Her body clock was slightly nocturnal at times, especially during the summer, and as they were moving in June, she became more tired during the day, and began running during the night, just to get some exercise in. She flew through the remaining papers, and by six in the evening, she settled them onto her desk, grabbed her bag and her jacket, and left the building.

Heading towards her bicycle, Nikki let out a laugh of relief that it was still there. Last time she brought it in, she had had to issue a detention because some year nine thought it would be bloody hilarious to get on it and ride out of school.

'Nikki, did you only just finish as well?' a voice suddenly yelled from behind her, and she turned, with a smile suddenly becoming apparent on her face when she saw that it, yet again, belonged to Tom Clarkson. She wasn't complaining.

She hauled her bag onto her back (cleverly, she had dug out an old backpack from the cupboard for today), and replied, 'Yeah. Decided to get all the marking done out of the way.'

'Year Twelve coursework?'

'Yeah, unfortunately,' Nikki replied with a groan, and an emphasis on the word unfortunately. She really hated the year twelve coursework this year. They were studying "Birdsong" at the moment, and so every essay focused on the aspect of _How does Sebastian Faulks show the negative ways of the war?_ Every line she found related to her own experience, and it just made her a little uncomfortable. These kids obviously didn't have a clue what war was about – just like the mark scheme and examining board.

'Snap,' Tom called, with a half-jovial smile on his face. He looked at Nikki, and then at her mode of transport, and raised his eyebrows in unison. 'Can I give you a lift?' he asked, his tone implying that after what had happened earlier, maybe riding a bike eleven miles would not be the greatest idea conceived.

Nikki shook her head, standing her ground. 'No thanks Tom, I need to get some exercise,' she called back across the parking lot as she freed her bike from the lock, and mounted, having forgotten her helmet this morning. She watched with some amusement as he looked torn between yelling at her to get off the bike, or letting her go forward. But she was thirty five years old – she didn't need to be mollycoddled.

'Are you sure? It's just, I'll be…worried about you, if you fall off and hurt yourself, I mean. It wouldn't be any trouble for me to drop you home,' Tom stuttered awkwardly, pointing at her head and lack of helmet. Even though the evening was kicking in, the sky was still blue rather than grey or black, and Nikki could see the faint hint of a blush on her cheeks. It was quite adorable, she had to admit: he being all concerned about her.

'Seriously Tom, I can manage. I don't want you to go out of your way for me,' she replied, enjoying the competitiveness in this little conversation.

'I wouldn't be going out of my way. I would really feel a lot better if you let me give you a lift home,' he began to insist, and she laughed softly, the pacifist debate being rather amusing from her point of view – two English teachers, using all the persuasive language possible to get each other to crack.

Nikki just shook her head, determined and headstrong to get on her bike, and began cycling towards the gates, waving cheerfully at Tom. Before she could escape from the school, however, he pulled up next to her in his Astra and called, 'Tell you what, I'll meet you at the park. That's halfway, and I want to show you something.'

Nikki raised her eyebrows. That almost-cute blush returned. 'No-no-no-no. That's not what I meant,' Tom stammered, before chuckling softly, and pretending to hit his head on the steering wheel repeatedly. Feeling kind of bad for the guy, Nikki nodded her head in agreement and then said, 'Race you there.'

'I have a car, and you have a bike – that's not a fair competition,' Tom wagered, and Nikki smirked at him. _Amateurs_. A car drove past, and a few seconds later, another followed in the way Tom wanted to drive. 'Have fun with the traffic, I'll meet you there,' Nikki called, in almost a flirtatious tone, and sped off, laughing behind her as Tom sat impatiently behind the wheel of his car, waiting for the red to turn to green.

Twenty minutes later, Tom parked his car and casually walked to the bench on which he could see Nikki was waiting. He wasn't really sure why he had requested they meet up here. But, he had been worrying about her all day. He had known her what, four months now? And he knew that she was not one of those women who just fainted for attention – she had been positively humiliated by her actions. Somewhere inside, he felt a very deep attraction towards her. He had been with quite a few people, but none of them really compared, except for Izzie. But she was gone, had been for nearly five years, and he had been given the gift of time to move on.

Whenever she was sarcastic towards him, gave him a competitive slap on the arm or laughed at him, his stomach twisted pleasantly inside of him. But it was when she was being gentle, soft, and kind – that was when he really wanted to act upon how he felt towards her. She had been such an angel (and he wasn't going to tell her that's how he described her) when it came to dealing with Josh, and he knew that they got on well. He had to think about whether or not Josh would like it if anything ever happened between them, but he doubted it would. He knew she didn't really like him like that at all.

But he supposed he asked her to meet him so he could find out the truth. What she had admitted to him earlier, about watching her friend die during the war, had been a tragic truth, but he knew there was something more than that. Something buried so deep inside of her that she had never told anyone, and it was the reason she was so defensive. He wanted to know what it was. It may sound like he was invading her privacy, but she was just so alluring to him, that he wanted just to know her. He wanted to be able to understand the look she gave him when she was quieter than usual. He wanted to be able to understand why, on some days, she just looked so mournful. He wanted to help her in a way that only knowing the truth would allow it to be possible.

'You were right about the traffic,' he remarked, smiling broadly, and sitting down on the bench next to her. Nikki jumped slightly, but then beamed at him, 'I knew I would get here first.' Diverting his gaze away from her, Tom looked directly ahead at what he had brought her here to see. This bench was especially well chosen. It overlooked all of Rochdale (which from a distance looked quite nice), and as the sun was setting in the north, a brilliant deep red shadow was cast over the city in its entirety, and then the stars came out.

'Why are we here Tom?' Nikki asked plaintively, not seeing the beauty that Tom did. He supposed the war had blinded her somehow, and she had to look harder to see the stunning things in the world. Maybe that was why she thought so little of herself; because she couldn't see how truly beautiful she was.

Tom placed his hand on top of hers, which was casually flopped on the wood of the bench, and whispered, 'Just look. At the sunset, and at the stars.'

So she looked, for rather the first time, and she was amazed. There were thousands of people, scurrying around like helpless little ants, and the faint noises of cars revving, and people honking their horns. There were the yells as people argued in the street, the already-drunken singing from the pubs, the cheers as someone got married. There was so much noise. And the sunset was deep red, but not the type that reminded her off blood, but the type that reminded her of roses. It was dabbled with flecks of gold and orange, but there was lilac in there too, the faint sight of violet.

She looked more at the sky which was already turned deep blue. Stars were scattered like a handful of sprinkles, with some constellations more obvious. It was difficult to imagine that something that sparkled and twinkled was burning like a hot flame a billion miles away. Some of them had even been destroyed millions of years ago, but thanks to the time continuum, people here on earth could still see the explosion happening. It was an amazing feat of nature – something Nikki had never ever noticed before, even when she was a young girl. _Tom is brilliant_, she thought internally, _he is an amazing guy_.

When she turned back around, having looked for too long a time, Nikki saw that Tom was now standing, staring at her expectantly. He raised his hand, and wiggled his fingers, beckoning her to take his hand. She took it immediately, and allowed him to pull her to her feet.

'So then Tom, are you going to take me on an adventure?' Nikki asked, excitement in her eyes, and her smile sparkling wildly. 'Yeah, I am,' was Tom Clarkson's simple reply.


	3. Chapter 3

About two hours later, Tom and Nikki returned to the bench, still engaged in rabid conversation. There was this trek-path type thing that they followed for a while, walking in solitude and silence, both of them stewing in the sheer awkwardness of the situation, until Tom utilised the time, and decided to get to know Nikki. They rarely had any time out of school together where they could just chat, rather than worry about Josh or marking or gangs, so now was the time to gossip. What neither of them had noticed, however, was the time.

'Christ, it's already half nine,' Tom exclaimed, pulling up his sleeve to check his watch. As if on cue, his stomach rumbled distinctly, and both he and Nikki cracked up, both realizing they were absolutely starving. 'I should be getting home,' Nikki explained, giving Tom a quick hug, and jumping onto her bike as if she had just been slouching around for the past two hours. Before she could start cycling though, Tom clipped the brake on her bicycle, and gave her a questioning smile.

Looking down at the floor, as if he were extremely nervous or jittery, Tom ruffled his hair through, and smiled to himself. Nikki clambered off her bike, resting it against the bench, and brushed her hair from her face, confused at his actions. With her heels on, she was about two inches taller than him, making it more difficult for Tom, but as he brought his head back up, she noticed how he took a particularly long time staring at her legs. Normally, she would've kicked a guy for that, but with Tom she somehow didn't mind.

Her not-minding must have been very obvious as Tom immediately brightened when he reached her face, and he confidently flicked his head towards his car and asked, 'Do you want to order pizza or something?'

_Yes. Yes. Yes. YES. YES! YES!_

'That would be nice,' Nikki replied gratefully, beaming cosily, and with some precision, she loaded her bike into the back of Tom's car and clambered into the passenger seat in the front of the car. She hadn't noticed how dark it had gotten – like someone had been gradually painting the sky with deeper and darker shades of blue until they had reached complete darkness. Street lamps illuminated the park, but the inside of his car was dark and once or twice, they allowed their hands to brush against one another's, immediately shivering afterwards and apologizing.

Tom started up the car and, unfortunately for him, his CD player went off at the exact same time, playing a song he really would've preferred that Nikki didn't know he liked. He was seeing, more and more, how different she was out of school, how relaxed and calm she was, and she was setting off his spontaneity setting – meeting her at the park, inviting her for pizza. What next? Was he really being careful with this situation by driving her to his house in the dark, and inviting her in for dinner? Was he making a wise choice, or heading towards getting his fingers burnt?

Nikki snorted with laughter as the song started blaring out of the radio, and Tom immediately slammed his hand on the _off _button. 'Abba, really?' she asked, smirking like the devil the whole while, 'I thought you would be into more macho music; I was expecting Guns and Roses,' she teased sarcastically, and Tom pointed his index finger at her and cried, 'I'll have you know that Abba are the most popular band in the world next to the Beatles. Even the Bee Gee's, or whatever you like, someone like Madonna, isn't that great!'

'Madonna?' Nikki cried in incredulity, 'I don't like Madonna! I'm more of a Take That girl.'

'Take That? The only things more feminine than them are the Sugababes!' Tom retaliated, accidentally swerving the car a little as he bickered with Nikki. Nikki, however, saw this as a great opportunity to tease him.

'You can't say much, you fancy blonde Swedish women who sing in a really high alto voice.' Upon saying _really high alto voice_, Nikki rearranged her normally quite sharp voice which mimicked what she had just said, causing Tom to promptly burst out laughing. Nikki joined him soon after, and as they pulled up to Tom's house, they were still wiping tears from their eyes.

Tom's house was quite nice if you looked at it in the right light. It was small, only two bedrooms, two bathrooms, a kitchen and a living room, but a nice paint job he had finished a few weeks back really set off the front of the house. There was a little hanging basket swinging from the porch, the flowers blooming quite magnificently into several shades of yellow and orange. The porch was painted dark brown, and there was a welcome mat where Nikki quickly scrubbed off the mud from her heels, not wanting to trail dirt all through Tom's house.

When she stepped inside, she was immediately hit with that feeling of total warmth and comfort – the type of feeling you get after you step into your house when you've been on holiday for a few weeks. The type of feeling you get when you sleep in your own bed for the first time after a week away. Oh God, she was thinking about beds. _Stop it Nikki_, she warned herself harshly, _relationships with you don't work out for anyone. This is dangerous, play it safe_. What she didn't know was that Tom was thinking the exact same thing.

Neither of them wanted to admit it first, but there was something between them which neither of them could deny. Some kind of mutual attraction they had held since their first meeting, which was why they had clashed so messily on her first day. Both were stubborn as mules, and after all the failed romances Tom had been through, and the divorce, miscarriage and death Nikki had experienced, neither of them wanted to get hurt again. But what neither of them realized yet was that both of them could give each other what the other needed.

Tom could give Nikki that feeling of safety he had been providing her with all day. There was a reason he was always the one she ran to when she was upset – he could comfort her when she needed it. Nikki could offer Tom loyalty and trust. As an ex-army woman, she had learnt the art of loyalty as a survival skill, and if there was anything Tom needed, it was the guarantee that she wouldn't be going anywhere anytime soon.

Nikki carefully kicked off her shoes, and placed them in the corner behind the door. She followed Tom into the living room, where there was an average sized telly, an armchair and a comfortable looking sofa. Tom had just finished calling the Pizza Place and patted the seat next to him on the couch for her to sit down. She took a look around, heeding his earlier words. The walls were painted coffee cream, and the sofa was more of a chocolate brown. The carpet was plain, and the furnishings were not exactly exquisite, but next to the television was a very handsome original fireplace. On the top of the fireplace were dozens of photos, all of different people: Tom, Josh, Izzie (who Grantly had once told her about), and a young teenage girl she had never met before.

Trying to be as subtle about it as possible, not wishing to intrude, Nikki stood up off the sofa, and walked bare-footed across the carpet to look at the photo. She very gently picked it up, and looked at the girl; she was very pretty, about sixteen years old. She and Tom were hugging each other madly, and the girl's bright blue eyes were sparkling manically. Nikki instantly panicked, thinking she might be Tom's daughter or something, but one melancholy look from said man told her otherwise.

'That's Sambuca Kelly, the girl who the memorial outside the school belongs to,' Tom said flatly, although there was a quiver of shakiness in his voice, 'She died last year. She was like a daughter to me. Her father left when she was young, and I was in a relationship with her mother for a while, so I suppose I was her step-father of sorts.'

'I'm so sorry Tom,' Nikki mumbled, placing the photograph back on the mantelpiece, not wishing to disturb any memories, 'I didn't mean to pry.'

'Nah, you're alright,' Tom said dismissively, forcing a smile onto his face. Before the tension in the room could reach a climax, the doorbell rang, startling both occupants of the living room. Tom hurried to the front door, and Nikki made herself comfortable, feeling so guilty for what she had just done. But she wasn't to have known that the girl was Sam Kelly, and she hoped Tom would forgive her for intruding on something which was obviously very personal to him.

Before she could completely cleanse her conscience, Tom re-entered the room, two boxes of pizza in tow, a big smile on his face. The way his eyes were a bit more relaxed, and his jaw a little less clenched, Nikki was grateful that he had made an effort to forget their most recent conversation.

'Josh is round Finn's tonight, they haven't seen each other properly for a while now so I suggested a little rendezvous for them. We've got the house to ourselves,' Tom piped up, putting the pizzas on the little chic coffee table, and removing his tie, undoing his top button. Feeling this was a little suggestive, Nikki slid out of her black blazer, leaving her in long black trousers and a blue shirt. They caught each other's eye and let a sparkle of mischief shine, but then dug into the pizza. Soon after, Tom dug out the wine as well, and they were soon merrily chinking each other's glasses.

Nikki was sure to only have the one glass though. She didn't want to end up even slightly tipsy, because that could lead to her being too loose with her tongue, and telling Tom what she really felt. But as she ate the pizza, and sipped subconsciously at the wine, Nikki could feel her emotional barriers collapsing, and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't reinforce them. _Damn Tom Clarkson_, she thought angrily, _damn him_.

When both had eaten the most they could, Tom discarded the empty pizza boxes in the bin outside, and upon coming back to the living room, found Nikki sprawled out across the sofa, lazily humming to herself, swirling her finger around in her empty wine glass.

'Make yourself at home,' he declared loudly, and Nikki looked a little embarrassed before pulling her legs up and then sitting down normally. But she felt at home here. There was something she couldn't explain about this place, about Tom Clarkson. For the first time, Nikki finally admitted to herself that she wanted him.

Too bad for her that she couldn't have him.

'Nikki, there was something I wanted to ask you,' Tom began, plonking down on the sofa next to Nikki and looking directly into her eyes, holding out her stare. A million questions rushed through her mind.

_What do you think of me? Do you like me? Would you like some more wine? Why did you agree to come here? What the hell is going on between us?_

She really would like an answer to that last question, but Tom must've seen the panic on her face as he quickly muttered, 'No, it's nothing bad, I guess. I just wanted to know why seeing Kyle Stack affected you so badly this morning.'

This morning. It felt like a lifetime ago. Since then, she had battled with her emotions, gone to her colleague's house and considered jumping on him and snogging his face off. Her whole body went rigid, the muscles in her jaw tightening. 'It wasn't seeing him that did anything. It was what he said,' Nikki whispered, wringing her hands together to stop herself from tearing her hair out.

Tom inched towards her, not wishing to scare her, and placed a hand on her cheek, and turned her around to face him. He dropped his hand when he saw her expression, but Nikki quickly took it once again, and held it back to her face, wanting to feel the comfort that she did when he touched her. 'What did he say Nikki?' Tom asked softly, gently caressing her cheek, holding her to him, but not literally. She sniffed back a sudden, overwhelming rush of tears, and choked out, 'He said "Hiya gorgeous".'

Tom didn't understand. And she wanted him to. So she sat right beside him, dropped her head onto his shoulder, allowed him to wrap his arm callously around her waist, and told him exactly what happened on the day she lost Charlie. For the first time, she recounted her tale truthfully and wholly, not leaving out any details. As she explained about how she felt when Charlie got shot, her voice cracked suddenly, leaving her mouth dry. But she proceeded on; that's the only thing she really knows how to do. Move on, and get over it.

Every time Nikki had mentioned her position in the army to a potential suitor, they had either looked at her in disgust, been suddenly afraid of her, or had been decidedly awkward and vacant for the rest of the evening. Quickly, she learnt it was a turn off, but didn't understand why. She felt like she had no real connection with any of the men she went out with because they didn't know anything about her history, and here she was, spilling out every detail of the most miserable day of her life to someone she had known for four months. Someone she was pretty close to loving.

'And I just felt the cold barrel of his chin pressing into my chin,' Nikki breathed out, restraining tears as she leant more and more against Tom to the point where she was basically lying across his chest. To her relief, he was still holding her, perhaps even more tightly then before. 'And then he whispered _that_ into my ear, and hearing Kyle Stack say it again today just unlocked everything. I…I shot him…in the face afterwards. I managed to get him off me. I packed these memories away so deep that I had almost forgotten, and every let loose at once, and I couldn't handle it,' Nikki finished decidedly. She didn't tell him about her ex and her lost child though, that would be too much.

Nikki waited for Tom to say something. His grip on her was the same it had been all the way through her tale, but his breathing seemed to have faltered. Maybe he hated her, or was repulsed by her. She had killed a man at point blank range, and let two comrades die. Suddenly infuriated with herself, Nikki made a move to leave out of sheer hatred for herself, but found herself restrained by Tom's arms. She suddenly felt something drop onto her face, like rain. She swivelled her head around, and was shocked by what she saw.

Tom had tears collaborating in his sharp blue eyes, and some were slowly trailing down his cheeks, and dripping onto her face. He looked down at her and whispered, 'I'm so sorry Nikki,' and pulled her into the greatest embrace she had ever experienced. To say she was shocked would have been declared understatement of the century. She had expected him to run away from her, demand that she left his house, not…not _be there_ for her. He was the first person who had ever done this for her. So that's why she hugged him back, and allowed herself to be vulnerable for the first time in four years.

When they finally drew apart from one another, Nikki gave a watery laugh and wiped tears away from her eyes. She rolled onto her back, resting her head in Tom's lap and lying down across the sofa. She looked up at him, and saw all the pity and shared grief in his eyes. She tentatively reached up a hand and brushed away the still tears lurking underneath his eyes. He let out a tiny small smile, and entwined that hand within his. This was the first bout of silence they had experienced today which had not been awkward in the slightest. Instead, this was almost a real time for Nikki to mourn. However, time was the boss of everyone.

'Oh my God, it's ten to twelve, I'd better be going home,' Nikki exclaimed, breaking the moment entirely. She leapt out of her position, and seemed a little disorientated for as few seconds, but then began hurtling towards the front door. It took Tom a few seconds to pull himself back together and realize what had just happened, but when he finally noticed, he went straight after Nikki and caught her just as she was stepping out of the door, her shoes in her hands instead of on her feet.

He pulled her back inside, and told her to drop the shoes. She did as he asked, but then looked down at the floor, not wanting to face him. She had tried to escape, because she didn't think she could admit to how she felt, but she didn't have to say it.

Tom placed his right hand underneath her chin and gently tilted her head up so she was facing him. Nikki instantly diverted her eyes to look at the wall, but Tom's gentle request of 'Nikki, look at me' told her that she should do so. She couldn't avoid him forever.

'Nikki, I don't know why you're trying to run away,' Tom whispered, allowing her to take a step back from him, leaving his touch. 'You're such a brave, brave woman, and I am so proud of you for telling me what happened to you. I would never ever shun you for what you did. You protected your regiment, and you did your duty. You're a hero,' he said softly, in that voice which was so persuasive and forgiving she could hardly stand it.

'I killed twelve people Tom. I let my best friend die,' Nikki stammered back in retaliation.

'I don't care,' Tom replied flatly, leaning out a hand but then retracting it, as if afraid of how she might react. But all she really wanted was to be close to him again.

Knowing this would change probably the course of her life so far, Nikki took a step towards Tom, closing the gap between them. He raised his hand to her cheek, and wiped away the few tears leaking from the edges of her eyes. Being taller than her when she wasn't wearing shoes was a brilliant feat right now. At first, he didn't know what to say – he just wanted to stay locked in this embrace with her forever. And then, it suddenly came to him. She told him the truth, and now it was his turn.

'Ever since we first met, I've admired you Nikki Boston,' he began slowly, building up his sentences a second in advance before they came tumbling out of his mouth. The lamp on the table next to the front door was giving very little light, and they were surrounded by shadows. 'I admired your strength and your courage and your work ethic. I thought you were brilliant. Over the past few months, as I've come to know you more and more...'

'Tom, please don't,' Nikki whispered, closing her eyes, pleading and begging him not to say what she knew he was about to say. She couldn't stand his compliments because she felt like they were wasted on her. But words wouldn't stop it now.

'Nikki Boston, I think I might just love you,' Tom whispered, and without waiting for her response, he bent his knees slightly and closed the gap between then completely. He pressed his lips against hers so gently it felt like feathers tickling against her, but he was leaving her space to decide. She decided to follow her heart, instead of her head. For the first time in her life.

Nikki leant forward and kissed Tom back, capturing his lips on hers for the first time. They were suddenly engaged in a fearsome battle for dominance which he won without a doubt, and he pulled her closer to him, wrapping his arms around her completely, kissing her even more passionately than she had ever believed possible. She entwined her lips with his, both breaking each other's personal barriers, and exploding against each other like two burning stars. She put her hands on his shoulders, but ran her fingers through his hair, and refused to stop kissing him until it was physically required.

'I think…I think I might…quite love you too,' Nikki breathed, her mouth just millimetres away from his, and before she could even take in more oxygen, Tom Clarkson caught her lips in a beautiful embrace once again.


	4. Chapter 4

_Sorry about the really late update – I've had loads of D of E practise and stuff, and a few exams so I've been really busy with other stuff._

Tom's eyes flickered open, adjusting to the bright light that was bursting through his bedroom window. He tried to move his arms so he could let out a yawn, but found it wrapped around someone else's body. His hand was lying carelessly across her waist, resting on her bare flesh, and every time he shifted his hand, tingles went shooting down his fingers. Nikki Boston, he thought with a smile, what a girl, and what a night. He looked down and saw her pretty much lying across him, the duvet of his double bed spread up to her chest.

He almost physically melted at the sight. She was so beautiful. Not that he hadn't noticed it before, but her history and the way she acted now made so much more sense. She fitted together properly now, all the pieces were connected. He brushed his hand across her back, and then ruffled his hair into a reasonable style. Her legs were completely entangled with his, and it seemed, by the bright daylight, that they had been pretty comfortable sleeping like that for a few hours.

While she was still asleep, her exhales of breath tickling his chest, Tom took some time out just to think. Whilst it had been a rash move, he was completely sure that he didn't regret anything that happened last night/this morning, and he wasn't going to let its importance and meaning just slip away either. He knew that he wanted her, and he wanted to be with her; now he might just have her, and he's certainly not letting her go.

Sometimes, he feels deeply guilty for having relationships with other women after what happened to Izzie. He knows she would have wanted him to move on, but in the beginning, it felt wrong. When she died, it made him wake up and realize that he wasn't Superman, and he couldn't always protect the people he loved. When Sam died, this only reinforced the idea in his head.

But being with Nikki felt so right. He had felt romantic feelings towards other women in his past, but none of them really compared to how he felt right now. He wished he could freeze this moment, and stay in it forever, never having to get up and return to school (even though today was Saturday so he could do whatever the hell he wanted), never having to work or worry. Just having to stay here, and love Nikki Boston. Which wasn't exactly difficult.

Next to him, the woman in question began to stir and her eyelids fluttered open delicately, like the moment a butterfly took flight and its wings sprang to life. Nikki's piercing blue-green eyes shot directly onto his face, and she smiled sleepily and mumbled, 'Morning,' into his chest. He looked back down at her, and whispered, 'Morning to you too.' He gently kissed her forehead and Nikki rolled off of Tom and pulled the sheets up to her chest. Feeling exhausted, Nikki closed her eyes again and drifted back into sleep. Tom just stared in wonder, seeing how perfect she looked, and resisting temptation to turn and kiss her again.

After about ten minutes, Tom got up, threw on some jeans and a shirt, ran downstairs, and made the two of them a cup of strong coffee, especially just to wake Nikki up. When he got back, seeing she was still asleep, he then chucked a pair of tracksuit bottoms at her face. She groaned in a quite masculine tone and then opened her eyes again, this time looking a little bit more alive. 'Do we have to get up?' she moaned tiredly, rubbing her hand across her eyes to wipe away any sleepy dust from her face. Before Tom could give her a reason why he was dragging her out of bed, the front door suddenly slammed open and someone yelled up the stairs. 'Dad, I'm home! Where are you?' Josh called?

'I'm erm, upstairs, in my room,' Tom called back hesitantly, unsure of what to say.

'What still? It's half twelve you lazy git,' Josh called back, laughing slightly, and the couple strained their ears to hear him quietly walking up the stairs towards them.

Nikki locked eyes with Tom, both utterly startled. 'Tom,' she hissed, almost silently, with a look of severe panic in her eyes. She didn't mind other people knowing what had happened, but she didn't want Josh to find out like this – what she had had in mind was sitting down and speaking to him about it, and making sure it wasn't a big surprise and it didn't trigger anything within him. 'Tom, what do I do?'

Tom's face was a bit of a battleground, and he could hear every singular footstep that Josh took towards them. He turned back to Nikki, who was still lying in his bed, slightly lacking in the clothing department. 'Just erm, hide under the covers, and I'll divert him downstairs or something. Quickly!' Tom whispered, forcing away a little smirk as Nikki rolled her eyes at him and delved under the covers. To kind of hide her completely, Tom stood in the doorway of his room, just as Josh appeared in the hallway.

'Hiya dad, me and Finn are just going to go round Lauren's and then head off into town for the day,' Josh explained reasonably, dressed in just jeans and a t-shirt, with his curly black hair hanging in his eyes. Even though he had made a quick quip about Tom sleeping in late, it was obvious that he had only woken up within the last hour. _Probably watching films and eating crap all night_, Tom thought fondly.

'No problem mate, I'll see you later than,' Tom said hurriedly, shifting to stand in the middle of his doorway so Josh couldn't look past him at all. But his swiftness and position just raised suspicion within Josh, who instantly knew that his father was hiding something from him.

'What are you so tense about then dad – got someone hiding in there?' Josh asked jokingly, but from the look of terror that quickly fleeted across his dad's face, he knew that someone actually was in there. He had no idea who it was, but Josh quickly ducked underneath his father's arm which was leaning against the frame of his door. Tom yelped quickly, but Josh could see there was someone underneath the duvet, and could hear said person's heavy breathing.

Before Josh could ask who it was, Tom pulled at his t-shirt collar, but it was too late. Josh quickly caught sight of the blue shirt and black trousers on the floor, and recognized them as belonging to the English teacher who his father had been crushing on for the past few weeks. He raised his eyebrows slightly and then said, 'Nikki, I know it's you,' like he had guessed the correct answer in the big game they were playing.

Nikki, shifting under the covers, breathed out heavily and pulled her head out from underneath the stuffy duvet and sat up against the backboard of the bed, making sure the sheets were completely covering every part of her apart from her shoulders, neck and head. 'Hey Josh,' she said tentatively, giving him an unsure smile, not knowing what his reaction would be. Josh looked back and forth between his father and Nikki, and eventually smiled back at her.

'Hey Nikki – sorry, I've got to head off, I'm going out with Lauren and Finn,' he said conversationally, and Nikki just nodded in incredulity. Josh walked out of the room and said bye to his dad before walking calmly down the stairs and exiting through the front door.

Tom and Nikki caught each other's eyes once again, and suddenly cracked up laughing. She pulled on her underwear and trousers off the floor, and then buttoned up her completely creased duck egg blue shirt. She walked across the room towards him, and almost fell into his arms, wrapping him into a huge embrace, hugging him tightly like she had last night when talking about her past. 'That went better than I hoped,' she whispered into his ear, and he nodded, kissing her on the temple, the only part of her face that he could reach.

They reluctantly pulled away from one another, and Tom offered up, 'Do you want me to give you a lift home or do you want to stay…for a while?'

Nikki considered for a while, but then decided that maybe the former suggestion was probably best. She didn't want to dive into this too quickly and ruin what they had. Frequent little moments was a better idea right now than long meetings together. 'I wouldn't mind having a lift home, thank you,' Nikki explained, hoping Tom would understand what she meant, and she wasn't trying to push him away in this situation.

'No problem,' Tom said cheerily, offering Nikki his hand and leading her down the stairs towards the front door. Outside, it was raining heavily, so they ran to Tom's Astra, flung the car doors open and leapt into the seats. All of a sudden, it hit Nikki that she wasn't in control anymore. Last night had been wonderful, but could she really cope with this sort of thing? She wasn't sure anymore. She wasn't really sure who she was anymore.

About ten minutes later, Nikki jumped out of the car outside her house, pulling her bicycle from the back of Tom's car and let herself into the house without even saying goodbye. Tom watched in bemusement, and considered following her, but after everything that had happened, maybe she needed space. She had told him a lot of personal stuff, and whilst last night had been…amazing, he wasn't sure that she was coping very well.

Nikki slammed the front door shut behind her and then ran up the stairs of her tiny house and into her bedroom. She peered out of the window just in time to see Tom carefully pulling away, and giving her a friendly beep. She smiled slightly, but then sank into her double bed, and pulled the covers all around her until she was completely submerged beneath them. She didn't know what was wrong with her – she had some sort of lousy commitment issues, but she had to see Tom every day of every week. _What the hell had she done? _But confidence had been instilled in her somehow, and emerging from underneath her quilts, Nikki jumped to her feet and then crawled underneath her bed and pulled out a small box.

It was _Nikki's war_.

She hid everything from her past inside here. Photographs, newspaper articles, her medals and certificates, tokens of the uniform she had burnt. Pictures of her and Charlie, her and her regiment. The laces from her boots she had bought by selling her engagement ring. Wedding photographs. She had never looked at the innards of this box since she had made it – it had been four years. With shaking hands, her fingers trembled and quivering so much that the lid of the box almost flew off, Nikki opened the box and looked inside. Tears formed in her eyes as she shifted through the years, ink stains appearing on her fingertips as she rifled through some of the pictures.

Finally she reached the bottom of the box, where there lay a small, scrappy bit of paper with a mobile number of it. Nikki knew it off by heart, but had never dared to call it, even when the inevitable had happened. This was so difficult, but she had to do it. She grabbed her mobile from her bedside cabinet, and slowly typed in the numbers on the aged bit of paper.

One ring. One opportunity to hang up. Two rings. Two opportunities to hang up. On the third ring, Nikki was about to press the red button when a young child answered the phone, with another one yelling and running around in the background.

'Hello? Who is it, do you want me to get daddy?' Nikki's hand shook violently, and she clutched the phone tightly to her ear and shakily replied, 'Yes please.'

The phone went silent for a few moments. Nikki's brain was whirring magnificently, and she felt dizzy, and then a man picked up the phone and said, 'Yes? How can I help?'

'Hi Mister O'Shea, this is Nikki Boston,' she announced slowly.

The voice on the end of the phone went silent.

Nikki took a deep breath. She summoned up all of her courage, more than she needed last night, more than she needed for working at Waterloo Road, and more than she needed to carry on after leaving the Army and walking out on her ex-husband. Tom had given her the strength to be able to do this, and now she just needed to do it. It had been four years. 'I know you know who I am. I wanted to say sorry for your loss, and sorry it's been a few years. Charlie was a great woman, and I just wanted to say…'

_**The End**_


End file.
